"A Woman, as long as she lives, will remember how she was made to feel at birth"
- Anna Verwaal.
I was fortunate enough during my pregnancy to reconnect with an intelligent young woman whom I knew for a couple of years. She had dreams and inspirations of helping women through her passion for Women’s Health, Birth and Babies. Over the last months of my pregnancy, I knew it was only fitting to have her as my Doula. I didn’t really know too much about the Doula or their exact purpose in labour, but her kindness and guidance proved that she was more than just support for me, but for my partner too. Being first time parents, dealing with the daunting task of labour seemed nothing short of a world of confusion and unknown, but being a mum of 2 and having the support of her wonderful husband, it was nothing new to her. She could answer many of my questions, provide advise and acted nothing short of incredible. When I was in labour, I hardly noticed she was there, and this was for many reasons:
1. She was not there to take Corey’s role, but to simply guide him in the direction of what I needed from him.
2. She advocated with the midwife as to what my wishes were just by simple conversations we are previously had. She knew what I was capable of and knew exactly what was best for me.
3. She was there simply for support and to encourage other options to lead me to the natural, drug free birth that I so desperately wanted.
She took photos and videos (with permission). This was a big thing for me, especially because if I didn’t have photos, I would have no recollection of my labour, and it was absolutely amazing to look back on and managed to juggle providing me the physical, emotional and educational support at the same time.
After a few weeks of texting, inboxing and the occasional phone call, our friendship blossomed. My Doula turned into my friend, and it didn’t take long for her to become one of my dearest. How lucky was I to not only trust her for her professionalism, but to trust her for the individual she was?
I do need to add in that I did not choose to have a Doula thinking Corey was incapable, in fact quite the opposite. I knew Corey would do amazing in delivery, but I wanted him to be absorbed in the moment and to really take it what was around him without having to stress about “What the fuck am I meant to do? I believe they would all think that at first. She covered it for him and provided him to opportunity to not have to think, but to do and to be there for me in the most beautifully way that he could.
I asked Stacey Yaroslavceff to provide a more in-depth description of her role and the importance of a Doula for you to understand her perspective:
“Most people have never heard of them. I think they are the most important pain relief, they provide that emotional and informative support from conception, birth and through the post-natal period. Having a doula decreases the overall caesarean rate by 50%, the length of labour by 25%, and requests for an epidural by 60%. They’re with you from the first niggles at home right through to the birth (whether that be 3 hours or 30). They believe in supporting your birth plan whether that be a plan for a natural birth or a caesarean. They are also a massive support for your birth partner, because let’s face it men don’t always know what some of those big labour terms mean.”
So people, get yourself a Doula. You are in control of your labour and you do have other options. I tried to give up so easily, and if it wasn’t for the people I had there, I truly feel my labour would have shifted in the direction of stress rather than control.
- Sarah.
